Writers are expected to go about wringing their hands and bemoaning their lack of talent, right? It's what we do, isn't it?
Please tell me that I'm not the only one worrying that I may never be good enough. That I'm not the only one agonizing about my perceived inability to construct a riveting plot or create compelling characters. Please. (I know, I know... begging is so unseemly.)
Planetary alignment may have something to do with it. Just look at the mess we Virgos are in on that front:
There's no reason to continue a slide into the abyss that may have begun with
yesterday's cosmic fireworks or even earlier in the week around the time of the
full Moon that was compounded by other planetary shenanigans. Every so often --
during any calendar year -- you hit a rough patch and that's what is going on
this week. Right now it is important to stay centered and clear on the
communication front as giant Jupiter makes a station at 20 degrees of
Sagittarius (6:24PM PDT) and begins a four-month retrograde cycle (lasting until
August 6). All Jupiter themes -- expansion of consciousness, philosophy and
religion, long-distance journeys, education and publishing, athletics, the power
of positive thinking, good fortune and worldly success, enthusiasm and euphoria,
speculation and gambling, arrogance and pride -- are emphasized now and during
the next couple of days. It's important to realize that planets moving into
reverse are not suddenly 'bad' or negative in influence. This is a normal and
natural part of the solar systemic dance that connects Earth to the other
planets in the solar system and, particularly the Sun itself. Any planet moving
retrograde is stressing its 'inner meaning' and accentuating its psychological
and spiritual components more than its exterior properties. Therefore, it is
very helpful to do more soul searching, reflection and meditation in order to
discover your own higher truth and purpose for living. Giving you more
ammunition in this direction are a Mercury-Neptune 30-degree link (2:38AM PDT)
and Sun-Uranus contra-parallel (6:02AM PDT). Inspirations can pack a wallop and
your literary abilities receive a positive jolt as well during a Moon-Mercury
harmonious trine (6:44PM PDT). Romance looks dicey at best this evening as the
Moon in Scorpio opposes Venus in Taurus (7:56PM PDT) -- a polarity that begins a
void lunar cycle lasting until 9:58AM PDT tomorrow. Finish old business during
the evening hours and delay new ventures into the Moon enters Sagittarius after
9:58AM PDT tomorrow.
So, apparently, if I stay up late tonight, I could benefit from a positive literary jolt about 10:44 my time and since romance looks dicey this evening according to the above, I might just as well do that. But, honest to god, if I do any more navel gazing, I'll implode.
That's what mid-life is after all, isn't it, an excuse for self-indulgence? That sounds harsh; I don't really mean it that way. It's just that, at this age, there is a lot of introspection and dealing with regret ... something I promised myself at a younger age that I'd never have. Silly, young me.
I suppose that agonizing is implicit in the middle age package. Agonizing about one's own life, about the environment, the economy, education, young people, the mores of society, and the feeling that we got life wrong somewhere along the line.
I came along at the tail end of the boomer generation. (Actually, that is a recent assessment. When I was younger, my year of birth wasn't part of that era. The experts have since extended the timeframe included in that generation until I too have been swallowed by it.) As an end-of-dynasty babyboomer, I have the philosophy of the boomers (right to personal happiness, for example) with some of the disaffection of the Gen Xers making me ultimately fascinating. (At least to myself. Ha!)
So, can you blame me if, given my age and the disastrous astronomical picture facing me, I am angsty?
However, I am a Virgo and that means enough moaning, for the moment at least. I have a re-write to tackle!
Have a great writing day!
Colleen
4 comments:
You aren't the only one. :) I don't think that age has a whole lot to do with it, either. I thinki it has more to do with maturity, which strikes for different people at different ages (and never at all for a few). Fearing that we'll never be good enough is part of the process of trying to evaluate our work as objectively as possible, and thus improve.
Not that such a mood isn't misery--I wanted to work on my writing last night, but just couldn't because I'm too worried about the content I've written in the last couple of chapters. It's well written, but all of a sudden I was worried that it just isn't interesting enough. So today, my wife is going to read it and tell me what she thinks. She's always kind but truthful, so I'll trust what she says either way. So either I'll revise and move on, or leave it as is and move on.
Isolation contributes to these phantom fears. Find somebody you trust, who knows something about literature and who you think will be brutally honest, yet fair and as kind as possible about it. Meaning no offense, but odds are fair that there are some weak spots in your ms. If not, you're like the only author ever to not have those in a first draft.
So if you can have somebody find those places that just don't work, and/or any ongoing mistakes that you make throughout the entire book (such as my overwriting in THE GUARDIAN), then you'll feel a lot more confident in the end. Hopefully that person will also point out what works for them, and all the things you're doing really well, also. There are a lot of critique groups on the internet, and probably local to you as well, if you don't just happen to know somebody.
I've found that this sort of feedback is the only sure cure for writer's angst. The negatives can be a blow to the pride and make it worse for a little while (I am in constant mistrust of myself that I am overwriting now, even when I'm not), but you have to hang onto those positive comments you get back, and hone your craft around those.
Best wishes!
Chris
So good to know that my age isn't the clincher to my mood! :-)
I've joined the writer's association in my area (didn't know there was one) and will apply for their mentorship program when the next opportunity presents itself this Fall. In the meantime, I rely on my partner and my friends.
I believe my strength in writing lies in my ability to evoke emotional responses in the readers. You are definately right about the overwriting comment. It is something that I'm working on, and, I think, getting better at as I go.
One really great breakthrough I've had this morning is that in my re-write I've moved content around and HATE how I moved it. Liked the original much more, however, the moving highlighted flaws for me that I may not have seen otherwise, so the work was very worthwhile.
Don't beat yourself up too much about not writing as much as you would like. It's tough to sit down at a computer and be creative after a long workday -- particularly when that involves more sitting at a computer. At least it proved so for me which is why I've taken leave of the corporate world -- at least for a bit.
Best of luck on your current work. from other posts, it sounds like you're making good progress. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
OK,you KNOW I love you, but if you spout any more of that stars and planets crap I might have to fly out there and beat the crap out of your Maritime ass....
hahahahaha
You're pretty bold for something who isn't feeling very well. I pretty sure I could take you.
Plus, at least that would mean I'd get to see you. (But, you know I'm caring about the zodic thing, right?)
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