Last night, I received my first rejection letter from an agent. Not that I haven't had e-mailed rejections based on query letters, because I have. But an honest-to-goodness rejection letter from someone who actually read my manuscript. That's a different thing altogether and so, the hurt is deeper.
The letter was actually quite lovely -- or in comparison to what I imagine some can be like. It was not an impersonal form letter. It was a letter pointing out the strengths and weaknesses of the story, what I can do to sell it and wishing me luck and giving me encouragement to go on.
So, why do I feel so bad?
It's my damned insecurities telling me that I can't write, that I should give up, that I am a talentless twit! That I should to back to having a regular job and stop sucking up my retirement funds thereby risking an old age fuelled only by cat food (the cheap kind) and puddle water. Ah! I can't bear it.
But I hear chocolate beckoning so maybe the day will turn out alright after all.
C
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1 comment:
Christopher M. Park said...
Colleen,
I'm really sorry to hear about this. I've had a somewhat similar experience, though mostly I was told that the market for my subgenre just isn't what it was 10 years ago (so, you mean, my writing is fine, but that still isn't enough?). I'm not sure which is worse, but either way it sure hurts. I'm glad it sounds like you have since had a breakthrough and are turning this into a positive exercise.
Chris
March 13, 2007 12:52 PM
Colleen said...
Chris: I hope that you continue to write, write, write. I read somewhere that -- statistically, and who can argue with statistics! -- on average three books are written before one is published. So, good luck! C
March 15, 2007 8:03 AM
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