Actual weather: Heavy snow, gusting winds, poor visibility.
Time for the warm rhythms of the Gypsy Kings!
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As I progress down the writing path, one thing I am coming to appreciate is the lively interaction in this community. I began writing fulltime one year ago and kept my nose to the grindstone, beavering away without lifting my head up long enough to see what was happening in my new community. (My corporate work habits hadn't/haven't died yet.)
Now that I have taken time to begin looking about me, I am awed by your generosity and vibrancy. Wow!
I can spend hours reading your blogs about your experiences, about tips and techniques, about hope and encouragement. I'm starting to feel like I'm on the edge of something bigger and it's really exciting.
Thank you, everyone!
There's something about which I'd really like to talk with you about -- the struggle with self-doubt.
I sit here, at my desk -- piled with books, papers and CDs, cough drops and hand moisterizer -- gulping coffee like its the elixir of youth, and I write. Day after day this is what I do. And then I read what I've written and I rail at what I've put on the electronic page decrying it for the tripe it is.
Every once in a while, I like something I see there, but then I berate myself for having an inflated ego or not knowing my arse from my elbow.
Am I alone?
Do you struggle with this too?
If you do, or if you've arranged an intervention for someone who does, what does one do to overcome this? Or is this one of the many joys of being a writer? If it is the latter, then I am some writer, as folks in this part of the world would say. Some writer.
But balance would be nice. Don't you think? The ability for rational self-assessment.
I try to be calm. I try to meditate but can't shut my mind off. I light candles and play relaxation music until I begin to think that if I hear one more waterfall or bird chirp I'm going to go mad. Drinking at 8 a.m. is out of the question.
What do YOU do?
Colleen
BTW... I have moved all my posts from the IDEAS blog to this one I will see what I can do about moving the comments over later today. I'm sure there was some spiffy way to import the content, but I couldn't figure it out so it's been a manual process. (How do you spell tedious?)
2 comments:
I think that it is just about impossible to write in a vacuum and value your work properly. Either you become one of those who think you are absolutely gold plated no matter what tripe you put out (don't believe me? http://www.spaceark.net/), or you become one of those who think everything you write is tripe no matter how good it actually is. Those are certainly the extremes, and I think we all fall somewhere in between there on the confidence scale.
What I do to try to deal with this "bipolar writer's disorder" (ha) that we all seem to have by virtue of the nature of the work: I try to get objective feedback. And I also get positive feedback from my wife, even if she is telling me that some part of what I did isn't that great.
That's the problem for unpublished writers--not knowing where we stand. Unlike most other jobs, there isn't much in the way of feedback until you actually get an agent. I mean, rejections--especially non-form-letter rejections--can tell you some things, but until you start having a publishing insider who is really willing to take some time and work with you, feedback is pretty darn limited.
For me, at least, that's the trick. I don't want people telling me that I'm absolutely the best thing ever, or, worse, that I have no hope at all. I want people who will give me a more accurate picture of where I stand, which is surely somewhere in between.
Chris
Chris: You are so right. I, obviously, need a new posse. (Not that I want to get rid of any friends.) I have an editor friend who seems to love nearly everything I do so I know she's being a friend, not an editor. My partner gives me some good feedback occasionally, but he's hardly unbiased. Other friends with whom I share my writing are all too kind. I'm going to try to submit things to critical blogs as appropriate. That's the only place I can think of to get some advice. Any other ideas? Thanks, as always, for your feedback. C
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