Yesterday, I was paying for my purchases at a grocery story when my son called to remind me we were completely out of sugar. I decided to return to the baking section and pick some up as I know how much he likes sugar in his tea.
As I selected my checkout lane to pay for my single item, an older woman with a cart swooped in ahead of me. I was rather taken aback, but thought that maybe she didn't realize why I was standing there.
I asked her very nicely if I might go ahead of her, me and my single item.
"Oh, sure," she said.
I proceeded with what I hoped was a winning smile and said: "Thank you."
"You'd never get ahead if you were in Ontario," she offered. "No, there you could have one thing and there be a whole line up ahead of you and they'd never think to let you in. No, sir. Not in Ontario. I tell you, I've been there and they wouldn't look at you."
My smile slipped. Do I tell her?
I decided not to. Neither did I point out that she had -- in effect -- cut me off, or that she didn't offer to let me in ahead of her, I had asked.
I wish I could say that this was a unique encounter, but, since moving here, I have had to listen to this sort of thing frequently.
It seems Ontario -- but which most Nova Scotians mean Toronto -- is modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.
Two years ago, I found myself having to watch a video from the United Way showing a man down on his luck, living on the streets. I knew right away it would be a Bluenoser who had moved to (da da da dah) Toronto. I was right. As we all know, that could never happen to someone here.
When NS branded itself, it was all done in comparison to Ontario. How do I know this? I was at the meetings. "It doesn't take two hours to drive to work here." Neither does it anywhere in Ontario except Toronto. I had to listen to hours of negativity about Ontario.
Two summers ago, I ran into a couple of teens from Ontario who had landed a job selling magazines door-to-door. The bigotry they faced was something we wouldn't want our kids to have to handle. Taunts like: "Whats the matter? Can't your rich parents pay for your eduction?"
C'mon people.
First of all, Ontario is huge. One congested city does not a province make.
Are there wealthy people there? Sure there are. But Ontario also has two large areas (the entire north -- look at a map, it's big -- and the eastern area) that are economically depressed.
Will people talk to you there? Yes. Even in Toronto. I know, I've actually been there unlike many people who slag Torontonians from zero personal experience. It is a city. They do rush. But if you ask somebody something, they'll stop and take the time to help.
Crime? Halifax has the highest violent crime rate in Canada.
Beauty? Both provinces have beautiful vistas. Different, most definitely, but beautiful nonetheless.
Usually, when someone starts yammering away about Ontario, I try to hold back from rolling my eyes and attempt to enter a civil dialogue.
Yesterday, I just didn't have the heart.
It's times like these that I wish I'd never left home.
Colleen
5 comments:
That's not a picture of you. That's a picture of an Unidentified Rowing Object in a boat.
The ducks are a nice touch, though.
Sorry, Roy. I've removed it. The link to your site was my attempt to acknowledge your photo.
Kristina and I have come to the conclusion that Nova Scotians have an inflated sense of how friendly they are.
I truly believe that Halifax is a terrific small city, and friendlier that most big cities of my experience, including Toronto, Montreal, and Boston. People do things like hold doors when people are following; make eye contact easily; smile spontaneously as they pass; and start conversations with strangers. But it's not an earth-shattering difference.
But we don't find the people along Nova Scotia's south shore to be paragons of friendly virtue. Sure, many people here are kind — but just as they are in Small Town Maine, and Small Town, Ontario, and Small Town, British Columbia.
After 14 months in Lunenburg, we still feel like outsiders. Part of that is our writing lifestyle, and our delicate bank balances, which leave little money for socializing. And Kristina and I can be socially awkward, on occasion, for life hasn't always treated us kindly.
But I'm struck that people who see us every few days — in stores, groceries, or restaurants — will only say hello when we're doing business together. Not when we see each other the street, or in a social situations. Perhaps it's because we don't go to church, or because I always look so grizzled (longish hair, 3-day growth, soul patch), or the difference in our ages. But no one has asked what we do for living, or shown much interest in us at all, with one or two exceptions.
The friendliest people we've met here are those who Come From Away, as locals call them — people like us who know how difficult is to fit in.
Stephen: It is a picture though, that has earned me a well-deserved slap on the wrist, so now it's gone. I liked the ducks too. C
Richard: During the Youth Film Festival, I met a volunteer who moved here from Illinois (I always have trouble spelling that!)who likens Nova Scotians to people from the American South who claim to be friendly, but are only to each other. I felt this most strongly when I first moved here and was without my family for almost two months. None of my work colleagues invited me for so much as a coffee -- something I regularly did to newbies back home.
However, I try to focus on the positive aspects of living here. I love the cooler summers and the oceanscapes. My son has easier access to arts opportunites and we embrassed homeschooling here which is working out really well. I can't figure why I didn't do this sooner! :-) C
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