The Onion: Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'

This had me laughing so hard, I cried. Thanks again to Becca who is the fastest worker I know thus allowing her the time to find this stuff.

Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'
The Onion/August 10, 2005 Issue 41•32


Edna and Duane Schumacher prepare to leave home for their agonizing weekend at FantasyLand (inset).

KENOSHA, WI—Sources report that longtime married couple Duane and Edna Schumacher's weekend stay at Chicago's FantasyLand Suites was a grueling ordeal of unwelcome interruptions to their long-established marital routine.

"Oh, for Jiminy Cricket," Edna, 52, said Monday after returning from the trip, a 30th anniversary gift from her daughters. "Why the girls thought either one of us would find such an experience enjoyable is beyond me."

Read the rest here.

Colleen